There’s something incredibly freeing about doing things on your own. Not because you have to, but because you choose to. Somewhere along the way, I stopped waiting for people to join me, to say yes, to show up, to give me permission and just started showing up for myself. That decision changed everything.
I’ve always been a bit of a “solo” kind of person. Over the years, I’ve learned to really enjoy my own company and not let the absence of others hold me back. If I want to do something, I’ll just go and do it. I don’t need anyone in tow to make it happen.
And honestly, if I ever do ask someone to come along, it’s taken a lot for me to do that. Because time and time again, those moments have ended in disappointment. People let you down – sometimes unintentionally, sometimes not – but eventually, they do. No matter how much energy you pour into others, they rarely return it in quite the same way.
So, I found ways to enjoy life without relying on anyone else. If people want to join me on my ride, that’s great – but I never expect them to stay. People are just people, after all.
This lesson really came into focus when I became a mum in 2013. Finding time for myself back then was near impossible, especially with a not-so-supportive partner at the time. But eventually, I stumbled across a little pocket of freedom – Friday afternoons, when he got home from work a bit earlier.
After 18 months of raising twins with no help, no breaks, and barely a moment to breathe, I was desperate to get out. I remember one Friday afternoon so vividly: I went to my local Costa, ordered a hot chocolate with all the trimmings, and just sat there – quietly, blissfully alone.
I snapped a quick photo and shared it on social media, and the response from the mum community was overwhelming. So many messages of support poured in. It was validation I didn’t even know I needed – that it’s okay to carve out time for yourself. That mothers should have “me time,” even if it’s just 45 minutes with a coffee and some peace.
That day genuinely changed everything. From then on, Friday afternoons became my time – a small ritual that helped me reset. And I can say with absolute certainty that it made me a better mother. Having that time to breathe meant I could show up more grounded, more patient, and more present for my twins.
Since then, solo time has become part of my rhythm. I’ve taken myself out for coffees, spa days, cinema trips, National Trust walks, gym sessions, exercise classes, gala events, shopping trips – you name it. The list is endless. But it’s not always about going out; sometimes it’s just about creating quiet, peaceful moments at home too.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my share of low moments. I know what loneliness feels like. I’ve been to the bottom and felt that dark, heavy space where everything feels too much. Maybe that’s why I value my solo time so deeply now. I’ve learned to turn what once felt lonely into something empowering.
These solo moments usually happen when the kids are with their dad, which makes my time with them all the more precious. During the week, it’s all about work, school runs, the house, the animals – and very little time for me. But lately, I’ve found a little pocket of time each morning that’s just mine. A few moments to start the day intentionally and make sure I’ve looked after myself before everything else kicks in.
Looking ahead to November, I’ve started planning things I want to do – both with friends and solo. I get two weekends a month to rest and reset, so I want to make them count (without going overboard!).
I’ve even started a “solo list” – things I want to try, places I want to visit, experiences I want to book. Writing it all down helps keep me accountable and gives me something to look forward to. Because it’s so easy to let weekends slip away doing nothing, and then wonder where the time went.
And here’s what I’ve learned along the way: in this busy, noisy world, “me time” isn’t selfish. It’s necessary. It builds confidence. It reminds you that you’re more than the labels – mum, colleague, partner, friend. It helps you live with more intention, more awareness, and more joy.
So here’s to doing things solo – not because we have to, but because we choose to.
Do you make time for yourself, even in the chaos of everyday life?
I’d love to know, what’s one thing you do just for you? Share it in the comments below or tag me in your next solo adventure. Let’s remind each other that self-time isn’t selfish – it’s strength. 💛
