Ever since I had children and especially when I became a single parent, the novelty of drinking alcohol really wore off for me. The thought of being even remotely under the influence while my children were in my care just made zero sense. So, I never drank during the week. However, when they started staying at their dad’s, I found myself slipping into a Friday night ritual of red wine.
It became my way of coping. I’d pick up something nice to cook from M&S, put on some jazz music and either call a friend or have someone over. But because it felt like a “release,” that £20 bottle of red would be gone within two hours, leaving me feeling very squiffy. The next morning, I’d wake up feeling rough and anxious, wasting most of Saturday recovering, then rushing through Sunday trying to get back on top of everything. It never truly felt like I had switched off or had a proper break.
I also struggled emotionally when the kids left for the weekend. My low mood would kick in almost immediately and I’d found myself wishing the weekend away – which is probably why I turned to alcohol in the first place. This cycle lasted about six months before I finally decided enough was enough and gave up drinking altogether.
Instead, I began to fill my Friday nights with learning, writing, creating and reconnecting with parts of myself that had been lost in the early stages of motherhood. I wanted to make the most of the time I had and I did exactly that. I learned new skills, attended blogging events, connected with friends and most importantly, started investing in myself again.
I stayed alcohol-free for four years. But during the third COVID lockdown, things shifted. I felt like there was no real point to anything and I started drinking again. It wasn’t heavy drinking, but it was still a step back. This phase lasted around three years. I told myself I’d quit again, but it became harder as I was surrounded by people who drank socially for fun and I’ll admit, I got caught up in that.
It didn’t take long, though, for me to realise that this lifestyle still wasn’t for me. So, in December 2024, despite it being a particularly tough couple of years, I made the decision to stop again. Deep down, I knew it was the right thing to do.
Around that time, I also experienced a shift in friendships. I found myself slowly being excluded by someone I once considered a best friend. It became clear that I no longer fit into her life as a non-drinker. It felt like she had taken what she needed from me, drained my energy and then, when I started focusing on myself again, discarded the friendship. It was painful, but also revealing.
This isn’t something new, I faced similar reactions the first time I stopped drinking. People often find it strange when you choose not to drink. That said, in 2026, it does feel like it’s becoming more socially acceptable, which I’m really glad to see.
Thankfully, my true friends and supportive family have always stood by my decision. They make the effort to include me, to offer alternatives at dinners and gatherings and to ensure I still feel part of things. That’s what real support looks like.
The benefits for me of not drinking have been:
- Health
Not drinking has had a profound impact on my overall health. My sleep is deeper and more restorative, I wake up feeling clear-headed and my energy levels are consistent throughout the day. Physically, my body feels stronger and more balanced and I’m no longer dealing with the after-effects of alcohol – no headaches, no sluggishness, no lingering fatigue. It’s a steady, sustainable way of living that supports me not just as a woman, but as a mum who needs to be present and capable every single day. - Money
Alcohol is expensive, especially when it becomes a regular habit. That £20 bottle of wine every other week was adding up. By not drinking, I’ve been able to redirect that money into things that genuinely add value to my life: experiences, personal development, days out with my children, or even just financial peace of mind. It’s not just about saving money, it’s about spending it more intentionally. - Social
Ironically, not drinking has improved my social life. I’m more present in conversations, I remember everything the next day and I build more meaningful connections. It’s also helped me identify who truly values me for who I am, rather than for shared habits. While some relationships faded, the ones that remain are deeper, more authentic and far more supportive. - Mental Health
This has probably been the biggest shift. Alcohol often masked my emotions rather than helping me process them. Without it, I’ve been able to face my feelings head-on, build resilience and develop healthier coping mechanisms. My anxiety has reduced significantly, my mood is more stable and I feel more in control of my life. I’m no longer riding the highs and lows that came with drinking – I’m grounded, aware, and far more at peace.
Choosing not to drink hasn’t always been easy, but it has always been worth it.
