Life has this habit of running away with us, and time – our greatest commodity, suddenly becomes scarce. Especially as a full-time working parent trying to balance a career, children (twins in my case), a household and everyone else’s needs at the same time.
Somewhere along the way, mothers often end up at the bottom of their own priority list. That’s why I made a promise to myself this year: to return to the self-care habits that once made me feel like me again.
That journey originally started when my twins were around 18 months old. For the first time, I felt comfortable enough to step away for an hour just to recharge, reset and recover. At first, I felt guilty for taking that time, but I quickly realised something important: taking care of myself made me a better parent, not a worse one.
So I started building habits that supported me mentally, physically and emotionally. Keeping fit. Looking after my health. Protecting my peace. Back then, I really felt on top of my game. I was in the gym regularly, had given up coffee and alcohol, felt healthy both physically and mentally, and genuinely loved the stage of life I was in. The twins were getting closer to full-time school, I felt motivated, balanced and more like myself again.
Then life threw a curveball…
Covid hit, and if I’m honest, I know the lockdowns affected me more than I realised at the time. We didn’t travel again until 2024, and even then I heavily prepared for it because my nervous system still didn’t know how to relax. I don’t think I truly healed from the whole Covid/lockdown experience until around 2025.
From 2021 onwards, life felt difficult in one way or another, but I kept moving forward. Kept showing up. Kept pouring into everyone else’s cup before my own. Until eventually, I realised how drained I had become. Somewhere in between all of this, I rediscover my connection with God on a totally different level and forever grateful – healing for me, wasn’t going to be a journey I could do on my own.
With the guidance of God, 2025 became the year of awareness for me. The year I started recognising which people, environments and situations were quietly exhausting me. The year I finally understood that self-care isn’t just skincare, spa days or getting your hair done… Self-care starts with boundaries.
It’s recognising when you’re being treated badly. It’s learning to spot manipulative behaviours, even when they’re subtle. It’s understanding that constantly overextending yourself isn’t kindness if it comes at the cost of your own wellbeing.
And after boundaries comes healing.
Healing sometimes looks like a smaller circle, but a safer one. A circle filled with people who are trustworthy, supportive, understanding and non-judgemental. It looks like honest conversations with friends, therapists or coaches. It looks like finally allowing yourself to process disappointment instead of carrying it silently.
Then slowly, you start finding your way back to yourself again.
Sometimes that does look like skincare, hair appointments or buying clothes that make you feel confident. Sometimes it’s joining a new class, rediscovering old hobbies, spending quality time with your inner circle or simply allowing yourself to rest without guilt.
Healing isn’t always dramatic. Sometimes it’s just choosing yourself again and again until one day, you realise you’re slowly coming back to life!
And when time allows, I really try to carve out moments that are just for me.
A perfect example was this past weekend. Friday night was intentionally quiet, just me, some M&S food for supper, the sofa and Netflix. After a busy few weeks, it was exactly the reset I needed – a total switch off.
Saturday started with tennis in the morning, followed by a long hot bath and getting ready to spend time with family. I went out for dinner with my mum and cousins, and honestly, there’s something so healing about sitting around a table with people you love, laughing, catching up and simply feeling connected again. I finished the evening winding down properly and giving myself the gift of an early night.
Then on Sunday, I allowed myself to continue resting without guilt. No pressure to deep clean the house or constantly be productive. I knew my mind and body needed a slower weekend, and for once, I actually listened.
Self-Care Ideas
Self-care looks different for everyone, and the older I get, the more I realise it’s not always about grand gestures or expensive luxuries. Sometimes it’s simply making space for yourself again.
A few things that can genuinely help when life feels overwhelming:
- Spa days or massage treatments to properly switch off and relax
- Therapy or coaching to process emotions, stress and life changes
- Exercise classes, gym sessions or even daily walks for mental clarity
- Quiet nights in with your favourite food, a film and no obligations
- Time with people who feel safe, supportive and uplifting
- Reading, journaling or rediscovering hobbies you once loved
- Taking breaks from social media and overstimulation
- Saying “no” without guilt and protecting your energy
- Prioritising sleep and proper rest
- Booking the hair appointment, buying the outfit or doing the skincare routine that makes you feel confident again
Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s necessary. Because when you feel emotionally, mentally and physically well, you’re able to show up more fully for the people you love – without losing yourself in the process.
