I spent this weekend totally focusing on me, and unapologetically so!
I am a busy single parent of pre-teen twins with a very full life, which I am eternally grateful for. I get to work, I get to write blog posts, I get to spend time with my beautiful children, I get to make lunches and I get to do all the things that so many people yearn for. But that doesn’t mean I don’t get tired or need to make time for myself.
In fact, many years ago, I realised that making time for myself was one of the things I needed to focus on to make me an even better mum. I needed time to recharge my batteries so I could keep pouring everything into raising twins, especially after doing it on my own since they were 18 months old.
So, every now and again, I carve out some proper time for me. It’s nowhere near as often as it probably should be, but the occasional once-in-a-blue-moon weekend will have to suffice for now! There are lots of smaller self-care things I do at home to recharge, but this weekend was a little more extravagant for me.
Learning to Treat Myself Without the Mum Guilt
I normally feel guilty when I buy or book something for myself and not the girls, so I end up getting them something too. Or I’ll find myself thinking about how much they would love wherever I’m going and wishing I could take them with me.
I’m trying to kick that habit of thinking I always need to get my children something whenever I treat myself because, ultimately, I end up either not doing the thing or not buying the thing for myself at all.
I’ve also had a lot of weekends recently where their dad has been travelling for work, which has meant multiple weekends of it being just me and the kids. I adore spending time with them, and they genuinely are the best children ever, but it can still be tiring because you’re in mum mode all the time.
I’m incredibly lucky, and I do try to relax when we’re all at home together, but properly switching out of mum mode isn’t really possible when you have your children with you. You want mum mode switched on, and you need mum mode switched on.
Our weekends mostly revolve around us going on adventures which is always the best or, more recently, their social plans and me driving them here there and everywhere. Last weekend, I wanted to be a little bit selfish. I wanted a weekend that allowed me to recharge so I could be back on top form when they got home.
Starting My Self-Care Weekend at Aqua Sana Spa
I started my weekend with a trip to Aqua Sana Spa, which I blogged about here.
Since I’ve been working on my mental health through coaching, I’ve found myself in a huge healing era that I didn’t even realise I needed. I’m really focusing on creating sustainable lifestyle changes, whether that’s booking a spa day, having lunch with my gorgeous friends or taking solo walks around beautiful gardens.
These might sound like simple things, but they’re all part of me learning how to slow down, recharge and actually make time for myself outside of being a mum.
I also had a fairly early night, which is another important part of looking after myself. Sleep is huge, and it’s something I’m still trying to figure out because I always have so much going on that my brain doesn’t necessarily know when to stop.
I want to get back into getting up early, but late nights have slowly become a thing again, so finding a better sleep routine is definitely something I’m working on.
Lunch Al Fresco and a Much-Needed Catch-Up
On Saturday morning, I actually managed a lie-in before my beautiful friend picked me up and drove us to the restaurant.
We ate al fresco and, honestly, we both said it felt like we were on holiday. It was exactly the tonic we both needed, and there is something so lovely about sitting outside, eating good food and having a proper catch-up with someone you adore.
After our much-needed catch-up, I headed to a local National Trust property for a good post-lunch walk. Taking a solo walk somewhere beautiful has become one of my favourite ways to clear my head and have some quiet time without feeling like I need to be doing something every second.
Afterwards, I headed home for supper and to watch the England game.
A Slow Sunday of Skincare, Haircare and Getting Organised
Sunday was spent enjoying some lovely skincare and haircare, along with generally tidying up without rushing around and trying to fit absolutely everything into the day.
I’ve managed to keep on top of most things at home recently, which is something I’m really trying to maintain because it makes life feel that little bit calmer. I don’t need everything to be perfect, but having a more organised home definitely helps my brain feel less chaotic.
I also managed to share some social media posts and schedule three new blog posts, which felt incredibly productive without the weekend feeling like it had been completely taken over by work.
Once the girls were home, we enjoyed supper in the garden and watched a movie on Prime. We also made sure everything was prepped and ready for the final week of school before they’re off for seven weeks!
We have a busy and exciting weekend coming up, so it felt good to have everything organised and to spend some lovely time together before another full week begins.
Why Making Time for Yourself as a Parent Matters
All in all, it was a very productive weekend, but more importantly, it was a weekend where I allowed myself to recharge.
As a single parent raising twins, I’ve spent so many years pouring everything I have into my children, my work and our life together. I wouldn’t change that for the world, but I’m slowly learning that making time for myself doesn’t take anything away from them.
If anything, it allows me to come back feeling more energised, calmer and ready to switch mum mode firmly back on.
I’m still working on the mum guilt, and I’m definitely still learning how to treat myself without automatically thinking I need to treat the girls too, but I’m getting there.
Maybe the occasional selfish weekend isn’t actually selfish at all. Maybe it’s just another form of self-care, and one that I need to make space for a little more often.
